Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Reviewed by Dr. Sanam Shamtobi, PhD, PMH-C

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Postpartum Anxiety and Identity Loss in Los Angeles

What if the goal wasn't to feel better — but to live better, even while feeling the hard things? That's the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and for a lot of mothers, it's exactly the reframe they didn't know they needed. Because motherhood doesn't come with an off switch for difficult emotions. The anxiety, the grief, the guilt, the moments where you don't recognize yourself anymore — those feelings are real, and they don't disappear just because you want them to.

ACT is a modern, mindfulness-based approach to therapy that helps you stop fighting your inner experience and start building a life that actually feels meaningful — even in the middle of the hard stuff. At The Mother Hood in Los Angeles, we use ACT to support mothers navigating postpartum anxiety, identity shifts, emotional overwhelm, pregnancy loss, and the profound transformation of becoming a mother (what researchers call matrescence). It's not about fixing you. It's about helping you move forward with your values intact, even when everything feels uncertain.

The transition into motherhood is one of the most significant psychological shifts a person can go through. Research is clear that ACT is effective for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, and its emphasis on values-based living makes it especially well-suited to the messy, beautiful complexity of this season. If you've been trying to push through the hard feelings and it's not working, ACT offers something different.

What Is ACT?

ACT stands for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and the name is pretty literal. It teaches you two things: how to accept what's out of your control, and how to commit to actions that align with who you want to be — even when your anxiety, depression, or inner critic is screaming at you to stop.

Unlike approaches that try to eliminate difficult thoughts, ACT teaches you to hold them differently. You notice them, you name them, but you don't let them dictate your choices. Over time, this builds something called psychological flexibility — the ability to be present with discomfort without being derailed by it.

ACT helps you:

• Make room for difficult emotions without getting consumed by them

• Untangle from unhelpful mental loops like "I'm a bad mom" or "I should feel grateful"

• Reconnect with your core values as a parent and as a person

• Take meaningful steps forward even when fear or grief is present

How ACT Helps With Maternal Mental Health

ACT is especially effective for:

• Postpartum anxiety — ACT helps you carry the anxiety without letting it run your life

• Postpartum depression — behavioral activation and values work are central to recovery

• Losing yourself in motherhood — ACT is deeply oriented toward identity and self-connection

• Pregnancy loss — grief work that doesn't rush or minimize the experience

• Fertility and IVF emotional support — navigating uncertainty and loss with more steadiness

• Birth trauma — ACT helps process difficult experiences without avoidance

So much of the suffering in new motherhood comes from fighting reality — fighting the fact that you feel anxious when you "should" feel happy, or that you feel resentful when you "should" feel grateful. ACT doesn't ask you to pretend those feelings don't exist. It asks: *what do you want to do with your one wild life, even while feeling all of this?* That shift is often what makes everything else possible.

What ACT Looks Like at The Mother Hood

ACT sessions are collaborative, grounded, and often include mindfulness practices — but these aren't the sit-and-breathe kind that feel impossible with a baby on your hip. They're practical tools for noticing your thoughts without drowning in them. Our therapists weave ACT skills into conversations that feel real and relevant to your actual life.

Our ACT approach includes:

• Mindfulness exercises adapted for the chaos of motherhood — short, doable, effective

• Values clarification to help you figure out what actually matters to you right now

• Defusion techniques to create distance from unhelpful thoughts and self-stories

• Committed action planning — small, meaningful steps toward the life you want

ACT pairs well with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Therapy (IPT), and our therapists often draw on all three when it serves you.

We see clients in person at our Brentwood office and via telehealth across all of California, which means you can access this support without leaving your house on the hard days. Get in touch here — we'd love to talk about whether ACT might be a good fit for you.

This content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), go to your nearest emergency room, or call the Postpartum Support International Helpline at 1-800-944-4773. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider about your specific situation.