Couples Therapy for New Parents in Los Angeles

Reviewed by Dr. Sanam Shamtobi, PhD, PMH-C

In short: Couples therapy for new parents helps you stop keeping score and start functioning as a team again. Los Angeles couples come to us for the sleep-deprived arguments, the division-of-labor resentment, and the distance that crept in after the baby. Both of you, one plan.

You didn't expect a baby to make your relationship harder. You might have even expected the opposite. And now you're three months in, barely speaking except about logistics, sleeping in shifts, and having the same argument every Thursday. This is one of the most common things we hear from couples in Los Angeles - and it has less to do with your relationship than it does with what a baby actually does to two people.

In LA, couples often navigate new parenthood with less support than they expected. Extended family is across the country. Your social circle is made up of other people who are also working intense jobs, also exhausted, also unavailable. Two-career households in this city run on efficiency and mutual independence - neither of which works with a newborn who needs everything, all the time.

Our couples therapy for new parents isn't just conflict resolution. It's helping two people who are both overwhelmed find each other again in a moment that's genuinely hard. Our therapists specialize in exactly this transition - the shift from partners to co-parents, and how to not lose the first thing in the process.

What brings couples in

• The "roommate phase" - functioning together but feeling completely disconnected

• Different parenting styles creating friction from week one

• One partner carrying the mental load while the other feels shut out - a core part of relationship changes after baby

• Physical intimacy after baby - when to, how to, what if you don't want to

• Resentment that built faster than either of you expected

• Communication that worked before the baby and doesn't anymore

What makes this kind of therapy different

A general couples therapist can help. But a therapist who works specifically with new parents understands that the issues showing up in your relationship right now are often driven by the postpartum experience, sleep deprivation, and the identity changes both of you are going through - not just communication style. They'll hold the full picture.

Dr. Sanam Shamtobi, our founder, holds a PhD and a PMH-C. Every therapist on our team has trained specifically in maternal and perinatal mental health - which means they understand the postpartum context that shapes so many new-parent relationship struggles.

Brentwood office, or wherever works

Our office is in Brentwood, easy for Westside couples - Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Culver City, Century City. For new moms who aren't ready to leave home yet, we also offer at-home postpartum therapy. For couples further out, telehealth sessions are available throughout California and much easier to schedule around nap times. We see a lot of couples doing sessions from their car in the garage after the kids go down.

Start with a free consultation

15 minutes - together or separately, whatever's easier. We'll hear what's happening and connect you with the right therapist. You may also want to read about postpartum depression therapy in Brentwood if one partner is struggling with the postpartum piece specifically.

Book your free consultation →

What the Research Shows

Postpartum Support International reports that 1 in 5 women experience depression or anxiety during the perinatal period. Partners are affected too, and relationships carry the strain.

In a clinical trial funded by the National Institutes of Health, women who received talk therapy based on cognitive behavioral therapy had 81% lower odds of depression or anxiety six weeks after childbirth.

From Dr. Shamtobi

Dr. Shamtobi is candid that no one is exempt, including her.

"I really like my husband, but I still feel all the same mental load, overstimulated, all the things... despite the fact that I'm a psychologist and I have a really loving partner." (as shared on the Hot Mom Sh!t podcast)

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do so many couples struggle after having a baby?

Because having a baby changes everything - sleep, intimacy, roles, finances, and who you are to each other. Research consistently shows that relationship satisfaction drops significantly in the first year after a baby. That is not a sign of a broken relationship. It is a sign you are both under enormous pressure.

How is couples therapy for new parents different from regular couples therapy?

We understand the specific stressors that come with this transition - postpartum mood changes, disagreements about parenting styles, resentment over unequal labor, and the loss of who you were as a couple before. We work within that context, not around it.

My partner does not want to come to therapy. Can I still benefit?

Yes. Individual therapy can create real change in a relationship even when only one partner comes. Understanding your own patterns and needs shifts the dynamic between you, whether your partner is in the room or not.

Is it normal to resent my partner after having a baby?

Very. Resentment is one of the most common things couples bring to therapy in the postpartum period - usually tied to differences in how caregiving responsibilities are divided. Naming it and working through it together is far more effective than pretending it is not there.

How soon after having a baby should we start couples therapy?

Whenever you feel it would help. Some couples come in during pregnancy to prepare for the transition. Others come months postpartum when the disconnection has grown. There is no wrong window - earlier just means less to untangle.

Medical Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line), or contact the Postpartum Support International Helpline at 1-800-944-4773. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider about your specific situation.